Most of this letter was written while listening to Josh Garrels “don’t wait for me”. I highly recommend listening to the same type of music while reading the note… Enjoy.

Love’s flourish is a divine and irrefutable gift, a burning thing; a real and live emblem of why we are here. Its heat melts even the hardest of hearts. Human knowledge of this most magnificent emotion can never truly comprehend all that is love; so I dig and dig and love and hurt and learn and then love some more. I live life unaware that tomorrow could hold love’s great trove, yet upon finding it I feel as if it were mine all along.

Love is more than feeling or receiving. It is not an easy task requiring halfhearted effort. No, love beckons much, calling for all courage and will. I am not immune to love’s trials and when they arrive I must fight back. With all perseverance and strength I must pick myself up and continue on. In my sweet marriage I watched love bud in preparation for maturity’s blossom. We tended to its delicate growth and every year pruned off the mistakes allowing more room and energy to be spent on its development. And after our love was so ruthlessly plucked, I found myself digging deep for love’s great truth and restoration.
There is a strong temptation that comes with the fatality of a relationship, whether it is a relationship with a parent or a loved one. The trauma that accompanies this tragedy causes me to NEVER want to experience it again. My head screams out “Warning!” every time my heart begins to peek open. Packaged inside love’s gift is a vulnerability that enables the seeds of intimacy to flourish. Without this vulnerability an intimate relationship shallows to just mere acquaintances, but it is also this vulnerability that leaves me pervious to carelessness.

In this vulnerability of love I am continually urged to grow. With every relationship (or loss thereof) I am stretched. With every mistake or hurt I have to choose to learn. Love is a risky business and there are no guarantees when it comes to trusting another person. The questions continually abound as my heart is planted and dug up. I must understand how to love and have discernment regarding love’s true nature.

Love’s only promise is this: you will feel. A heart incased in steel feels nothing. I know deep inside that in order to love, I must open up. But with so many hurtful brands of love in this world, I am tempted to throw away the key to the protective cage surrounding my heart. If I am going to be able to hold the gates of my heart open, I have to be watchful for love’s many facades. The first façade I will mention is selfish love. This kind gives only for the purpose of getting back. It is usually short lived; leaving behind flash fires and burnt bridges. Selfish love is neatly packed in sweet talk and smooth moves, wooing its victim to vulnerability before dealing the fatal blow. Another facade is selfless love. Selfless love gives to all who demand with the hopes of one day being able to fill the bottomless pit that fails to give back. Ones identity is wrapped up in the fact that they are the blood that keep the leaches alive. This kind of love is usually administered by very powerless people who pretend to have no needs. There is only one powerful person in the relationship and it’s not them. The third facade of love is drunken love (also known as blind love). Drunken love is fueled purely by an intoxicated state of emotions, usually brought on by desperation and fear. This dangerous love pushes past all the boundaries, failing to yield at the warning signs in pursuit of the fix. Drunken love is sure to leave you in a pile of sober regret with little or nothing gained.

There are many facades that mask themselves as true love but when I experience their fruit I find they lack the attributes of all that love encompasses. Those that partake in these falsities are left anemic and starving to death, thinking they have tasted of the real thing.

In order to find true love I have to know its attributes. 1 Corinthians 13 describes love’s characteristics beautifully. “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” Love is freedom… Love is wholeness… Love is honoring.

Take a look at the relationships in your life for a moment; do they have the 1 Corinthians 13 standard? Love without a standard is not love at all. It is brokenness finding a home! As I traverse down love’s path again, I am reminded of this truth. I am the only one who has the power to decide what type of relationships I will be involved in. I control my standard. Love is not love unless it costs me something. Love is not love unless it seeks only the highest good. Love is not love unless it leads to freedom.

Love is a gift; a gift I must be vulnerable enough to give, a gift I must hold to the highest of standards. When this gift is given and the seeds of intimacy are planted, when I hold the gates of my heart open, when I seek the highest good, it is then that I really grasp love; it is then that I have truly felt love’s flourish.